LOVED.

Hello everyone, i am back(:
i thought i had decided not to blog again, but i have had
got loads of feelings and no where else to vent on.

people might find you irritating when you
start to vent all your worries to them,
its okay for once, but i dont want to disturb people,
especially those i know who are concern about me.

all these months that i havent been blogging,
many things happened to me,
may it be good or bad, i just got this mixed feelings in me.
I am not feeling too good nor in a good mood recently.
i realised that i will only blog whenever i am upset.
so its better that i dont blog.

friends cheered me up and console me whenever
i felt like i cant grab hold of myself.
i think through a lot, i feel that i am waiting for the
impossible, and i dont understand why i still holds on dearly
to it. Teach me people! teach me.

i felt so lost whenever my eyes sees it,
i am getting more and more out of control,
getting more and more emotional each day,
without me even realising it, but i still pretend
that i am NOT.

i can just swallow all the tears within me.
yesterday, i finally lose my control over everything,
everything that makes me upset and stress over it.

i hope things were like the past, but,
there is nothing i can do about it, i tried many ways,
but none of it works. Just like C state in his blog,
i will always be there as i promised, but one fine day i will
be tired and i will need someone to be there as well.

thousand words cannot even compare to one single actions
if karma is coming to get me, i would rather i pays you back
and then return me back to the past,
where everything starts over again.

alright, i am getting emotional.
i should stop now...